Please fire me. They changed my job description and now I’m so bored that my boss gives me “little projects” to pass the time, such as sorting through used bedsheets in our overstuffed storage facility.
Please fire me. There’s a lady on the “safety team” constantly nagging me about things that have nothing to do with safety. One day I decided to charge my cellphone in a wall outlet in the break room and she unplugged it and hid it in a filing cabinet. Later, when I was freaking out over the thought that someone had stolen my cellphone she unveiled it to me and explained that I couldn’t hog up a “company outlet.”
Please fire me. In the middle of entering data in 5 different excel sheets for higher level administration, my boss comes around the desk and hands me more work to do. All the while, my co-worker sits right next to me happily bopping her head to the music in her headphones (a no-no according to my boss), doing her homework.
Please fire me. My office is by the building’s kitchen area. Someone is heating their lunch. Usually this causes me to eat my lunch earlier than intended and end up hungry again by the end of the day. Today their lunch smells like cat food.
Please fire me. Both of my bosses (husband and wife) left the country for a month, leaving me in charge of a bunch of useless co-workers. When they got back they commended me on my hard work. But instead of getting a bonus or commission for the sales I made or the raise I’ve been asking for, I get a small souvenir with the price tag of 3.99 still attached to it.
Please fire me. Our receptionist hates answering the phone, when she does, she gives everyone an attitude especially if they don’t know the name of the person they need to speak with. She spends the rest of her day posting selfies on Instagram.
Please fire me. Our department created a Halloween committee and came up with four theme options, which we voted on. Then the VP decided he thought we should do a theme based on the TV show “Saved by the Bell,” an idea that no one has the least interest in. Now we’re revoting to “reconfirm” our earlier decision.
Please fire me. My co-workers started saying “Ya know what I mean?” after every other sentence. They also say “…if that makes any sense” after everything they try to explain. I hear these phrases 12 times a day on average.
Please fire me. My manager said that the woman’s sanitary bin must be removed from their toilet because it smelled funny and that the woman must take their unmentionables, wrap them in toilet paper, put it in their handbags and take it home with them.
My bosses circle like buzzards, part of my job Requires me to complete work orders at a computer…when I sit for 15 minutes to do this they want to know what I’m Doing sitting down….I’m one of about 10 employees who actually do their job!
Please fire me. I have worked at my job for 2 years. All my managers have told me that I am one of their best employees and know the store inside and out. My employer then promised me a managers position after I turned 18 and graduated. When the summer rolled around, I waited for my promotion, only to find out it was given to a 16 year old new hire who kissed up to my employer. I am now on suspension because a trainee forgot to put toilet paper in the restrooms.
Please fire me. My general manager is 19 and constantly thinks I’m trying to sleep with her boyfriend. She’s even cut my hours because she “doesn’t trust me alone with him”. I’ve been in a relationship for two years and have no intentions toward her man.
Please fire me. I have to design jewelry on the computer and send the designs to factories in Bali where desperate workers create molds to make it. My boss claims all the credit for the designs and sells the jewelry as “organic & handmade”.
Please fire me. I lost out on a promotion to a job where I literally wrote a book on how to do it. My boss claims the other person has “more experience”. Mostly, what he means is old, and has a useless masters degree.
Please fire me. As part of my job I have to check ID. The papers I checked today were covered in dried pee and black mold and I still had to handle them with my bare hands. I work 4-5 hours without a break so I have to eat at my desk that now smells like a men’s room.
Please fire me. When by boss has nothing to do, he sits next to me and talks to me about his mid-life crisis and health problems. He then proceeds to complaining about how I sometimes talk too much and distract my co-workers.
Please fire me. My coworker (who is in line to become my new boss) just admitted that she gets confused over New Mexico and Mexico, which one is the state (thus domestic travel) and which one is the country (foreign). We are our department’s travel office.
Please fire me. I work in the tech industry for a company that monitors server systems for financial, government, medical, and corporate. The responsibility is soul shattering. I get verbally reprimanded if I treat a “lesser contract” (usually hospitals) with urgency and priority over a more lucrative contract. People have died in the operating room because we are “strongly encouraged” to treat a server alert for a clothing chain (with 3x the contractual revenue) as more severe than a critical hospital server containing diagnosis and medication information.