Please fire me. I work in a restaurant and the kitchen staff complained to the manager that it was 113 degrees in the kitchen and it was unbearable to work in. His response? “Some people pay good money to go somewhere for that hot.”
Please fire me. A professor just back from sabbatical emailed all the staff members and asked them to come into the main office at 10:00 a.m. He then doled out a souvenir for each person except me, even the receptionist who only started on Monday got a gift. I’ve worked in this department for 16 years. He even gave gifts to some of the grad students from the things he had leftover.
Please fire me. The second day on the job my manager called me and my colleague, who’s been assigned to train me, into his office to reprimand us because we were talking too much for the guy sitting in the cubicle behind me. My colleague is now training me with signs, notes and by pantomime.
Please fire me. I have a collection of Japanese iwako erasers at my desk to cheer me up. My associate loudly refers to them as “the zoo” and whenever she notices a new one on my desk she sneers and says my desk is “too colorful”. Meanwhile she leaves half-eaten potatoes, apple cores and 100% brown bananas on her desk for weeks.
Please fire me. My boss sends me out for his personal errands such as laundry, shopping, and even taking his kids to soccer games. When I try to quit, he just says “Why aren’t you working? Get back to work.” Then shoves me out of his office.
Please fire me. I worked in an ice cream shop where a woman once got vanilla frozen yogurt for her 2 year old (despite our protests that the ice cream is much more popular with kids). After the kid tried to eat the yogurt with her hands, her mother asked if she could ‘return it’ because her daughter didn’t like it.
Please fire me. There’s a male coworker who sexually harasses the female employees. I stood up to him and told him to stop. And in retaliation, he reported to our boss about “my messy work,” and now I don’t get enough hours to make rent.
Please fire me. I got a counseling at work because a secret shopper said that the only thing I did wrong was that my smile “wasn’t sincere enough.” I asked what WAS sincere enough, and I was told “just smile bigger and stop making excuses.”
Please fire me. I think I accidentally joined a cult. My boss is very attached to his employees, referring to us as “his family,” and throwing parties for every holiday, birthday, and special event he can think of. Worst of all, I’m the only one who finds this excessive; and when I’ve opted out of a party to instead spend the holiday with the people who raised me, my coworkers have asked me what I have against “the family,” and spoken with the boss about if I “truly belong.”
Please fire me. I work at a hotel and after staying in his room for a day, a guest complained that his room hadn’t been cleaned. I clearly told him his reservation package didn’t qualify for daily housekeeping upon his check-in to which he asked, “You mean I gotta make up my own bed?” Another time a guest with the same deal flat out told us he didn’t even know how to make up his bed.
Please fire me. I’m a hostess and today a lady came in with a party of 20 people, claiming she had a reservation. She didn’t, but she still proceeded to yell at me and tell how bad I was at my job for 10 minutes. Her husband finally came over to see what the problem was, checked his phone, and said he had called a different restaurant by mistake.
Please fire us. You know you have a terrible job when you hand in your notice and your direct supervisor says to you on your next shift: “So you’re done pretty soon…are you excited?!” in a tone that suggests he’s living vicariously through you.
Please fire me. I am a cleaner and today a woman pointed me out to her child and said ‘that’s why you have to do well in school - so you don’t end up like her’. I go to one of the top ten universities in the UK and I’m only cleaning to fund my studies.
Please fire me. I work in retail and we get tons of creepy male customers who will follow me through the store asking me out (I’m only 17, by the way). I’m not allowed to say ‘no’ because it’s classified as ‘rude.’ One of my co-workers had a complaint filed against her because she asked a man to stop following her in a ‘rude fashion.’
Please fire me. I had to cover my coworker’s weekend shift cause she called in claiming she had Ebola but she wasn’t sick enough to go to the hospital. She was back to work two days later. With a stuffy nose.
Please fire me. My coworker collapsed on the bathroom floor and was rushed to the emergency room with really bad gall stones. But he was so afraid of missing work to get surgery for his gall bladder, he made his doctor get him painkillers and came back to work after one day.