Please fire me. I don’t want to see you naked. I don’t need to sext you and you don’t pay me half what you said you would. I hate your wife and feel bad for your kids. I will not do what you ask me to do, it’s not my job. Your son asked me to have sex with him! Both of you are messed up.
Please fire me. Today someone called me a “lazy bitch” because I told them I couldn’t let them view confidential records without a photo ID. They then explained that they left their photo ID at a “friend’s house.” I explained that I was sorry for the inconvenience, but that we had to have photo verification. They proceeded to throw a pen at my face before storming away from the counter.
Please fire me. My boss, who is a member of the tea party and was not born in the United States, is seriously running for President. I spent 4 hours yesterday listening to his “platform” and his plans for “when” he wins.
Please fire me. Six weeks into my employment at a call center, my boss had a monthly 1on1 with me and started talking about some comments he’d heard that I’d made, and he ended with “we don’t want this to become an HR moment.” The comments in question were at orientation, staged by HR on my first day, about a video on workplace behavior, and half of the things said were by the two HR personnel themselves about how cheesy this video (transferred from worn-out VHS to DVD, it was that old) was. So I believe HR knows already, thanks.
Please fire me. My coworker (who is 15 years older than me) is obsessed with me and won’t take my hints that he needs to leave me alone. He talks freely to our coworkers about how much he’s in love with me, and they take every opportunity to make fun of me for it. His offers for us to “hang out” all have red flags but he covers his ass just enough that I would look like a child if I complained to a supervisor.
Please fire me. My boss was angry that we were opening and eating bags of chips on work desks, yet when she wanted something for us to do on the weekend, she doesn’t hesitate to bring a box full of doughnuts (glazed and full of toppings) to our work desks.
Please fire me cause I work in my sleep. my job Is a solar panel builder here in strict japan. i have been working here long enough to dent into my muscle memory that even in my sleep, my sister told me, my hands moves like I’m assembling something and would talk asking permission to go to toilet.
Please fire me. All paper towels have been taken away from us hourly workers because someone kept flushing them down the toilet, causing septic problems. We’re to get “creative” if we have a mess to clean up.
Please fire me. When a snow storm hit the area, the regional manager cancelled work for everyone but essential personnel. My boss looked at me and a coworker and told us “You’re not essential but I need you to come in because I am coming in. Don’t worry, I’ll think of something for you to do.”
Please fire me. After three years of employment without a raise, no benefits whatsoever, and an hourly wage I was earning twelve years ago, I am now expected to join various professional organizations in my free time in order to network and promote the company.
Please fire me. I lie to people all day. Encouraging greedy minds to be prideful about their greed by buying from us. Then giving them piece of mind with service plans which they can gloat about. Then when they come to use those plans, I lie about what we can do under that plan.
Please fire me. I’m a nanny and quite young. The mother makes me take the three kids out to go shopping and every time I get nasty looks from older women and men because it seems like they are my kids.
Please fire me. I work in a pharmacy in a hospital as a technician. Every day I have to listen to the vulgar details of the 65 year old male pharmacist’s sex-capades. I also have to listen to him refer to all females as “whores” and “bitches”.
Please fire me. Today quality control said to me, “You didn’t stick to the scripted format on your call, so we deducted points from your score.” I replied, “Oh! I’m sorry. Where is a copy of that script so that I can follow it in the future?” They responded, “Well, we don’t have a script, per say, because we don’t want you to sound like a robot.” Me, “What did I say?” Them, “You said ‘Thank you for calling (company name). My name is (my name), how can I help you today?” Me, “What should I have said?” Them, “Thank you for calling (company name). This is (my name), how may I help you?”
Please fire me. I have been a graphic designer for 12 years and I am forced to do work for sales people who refer to what I do as “Make it Pretty”, “Bright & Shiny”, and “Something awesome and cool”. Did I mention I have 2 degrees?
Please fire me. Our heat stopped working. When I asked my boss if they could buy us a space heater to keep warm she insisted I go out and buy this useless heater at a local store they have an account with. I went out and bought my own heater. Now she comes in and stands in front of it talking about what a good job she did helping us stay warm.
Please fire me. I used to carry a large knife in my purse and kept one in my top desk drawer because my boss hired a psycho editor who would fist fight the sports reporter in the front office and was known to drink heavily in the parking lot. Sometimes at night, he would sleep on the couch near my office.
Please fire me. We have employees who wipe their body fluids/excrement all over the bathroom stalls and walls. My boss sends out regular emails containing instructions on how to properly use the bathroom facilities.
Please fire me. Our practice manager was discussing pay scale in the department I manage with someone outside of my department and why they don’t deem it necessary to pay our department as much. She actually said, “No one would make a career of that department unless they were mentally challenged.” Yes, while I was sitting right there. She then tried to cover it up by saying it doesn’t apply to me since I’m “in charge”.