Please fire me. A co-worker of mine repeatedly asks me for the password to one of our software programs. Every time he does, I forward him the email I sent him the very first time he asked…over a year ago.
Please fire me. I work at the security desk/office of the college dorm I live at and for the past HOUR, a high-pitched scream-like alarm has been blaring through the alarm security panel directly behind my head at my desk. Of course nobody could figure out why it wouldn’t stop so they just left me to sit in there.
Please fire me. My coworkers and supervisors have accused me of being passive aggressive as if I am deliberately doing/not doing certain things just to piss them off. I’m doing my duties and then some. I look for ways to improve the business sales and then I am accused of attacking them when I try to explain myself and why I think my idea might be better. They are all against me and trying to make my life miserable now while being fake on the surface as if nothing is happening.
Now they are being passive aggressive towards me and I was left with barely any change in my cash drawer today. I have no way of going to get change as I cannot leave the store. Thank you for your childish behavior. My coworker said she ‘forgot’ to get change. More like conveniently. One quarter and 5 pennies left. Either you are an idiot or you are playing games. But I won’t stoop to your levels and play your game. Give me your best shot and see if I break. You’ll have to fire me before I quit.
Please fire me. The head of our newspaper’s composing department is retiring. Instead of promoting the female assistant who had covered his vacations and trained all the staff for 20 years, they hired a 25-year-old man with no newspaper experience. He was fired from his last job for throwing an office chair at a woman who wouldn’t go out with him.
Please fire me. One of my coworkers tripped and landed face first on the cement floor. The nosebleed was pretty bad so they called an ambulance. Before the paramedics got there, the head of our safety department cleaned up all the blood, stopped the nosebleed, and tidied up the area. When they arrived, she told them that the coworker had landed on her arm instead.
To this day, we are not allowed to talk about what actually happened. We all have to work with the ‘official’ story or we risk getting in trouble with management. This is the third time something like this has happened in the year I have been there.
Please fire me. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and when I can feel a panic attack coming on, I am usually left on the shopfloor until it becomes fully blown before I am ushered out of the sight of customers. One time when I made it to a staff area, I was called into the manager’s office and told to never have an attack in front of members of staff again.
Please fire me. I suffered a miscarriage that took me out of work for a day and a half. On the following Monday in my weekly one on one, my boss said “Take care of yourself so you don’t have to slack on the job. Next time at least be married.”
Please fire me. We got new carpet last week. The manager was unhappy about how it was handled and was grouchy about it for two weeks. Yesterday that caused another employee so much stress that she cried and threw up…in my trash can.
Please fire me. The family who owns this company lets their preschool children run wild through the building while they congregate in the storeroom to smoke and gossip. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve found the kids completely unattended in a room full of running machinery.
Please fire me. There was a small fire at our company, and the third shift didn’t realize they had to call the fire department and evacuate the building. They called the IT guy, because the fire was near electrical equipment. The next day management decreed all employees had to undergo safety training. Did training start with the third shift workers? No way. Day shift went first. After a week management decided to stop the retraining because it was costing too much. The second and third shifts really didn’t need safety training anyway.
Please fire me. I was out with the flu. The next day my boss called me into his office. While he was eating his third bag of gummy bears and swigging directly from a 2-liter bottle of Dr. Pepper, he informed me that he wouldn’t approve my sick time. ”It’s your own fault you get sick. You don’t eat healthy like I do.”
Please fire me. A client delivered a dozen cupcakes to our department as a token of her appreciation. My boss said she had to leave early (it was 11am) because they were too tempting and she was on a diet. I had to stay late to cover her shift. But the cupcakes were delicious.
Please fire me. Today I got defecated on 12 times while changing the depends (diapers) of residents (old folks) because the cook felt it was a good idea to include fiber and strange pork into the diets of the residents.
Please fire me. My manager walked out on me the other night to do a drug deal and I was left to run the whole store alone during a rush. When he finally came back all he did was sweep and mop an already clean floor.
Please fire me. I lost hours at a job I’ve been at for over a year because as my boss said I’ve “lost my mojo.” Yeah, because I was extremely ill with bronchitis and an upper respiratory infection for three weeks. Excuse me for being a little slower than normal!
Please fire me. My company is disgustingly sexist, but tries to disguise it as chivalry. Our head of sales wanted to use more “descriptive words” but decided not to because there was “a lady in the room.”
Motherfucker, I have the dirtiest mouth of anyone in here, and I’m also the oldest. Don’t talk down like I’m a child and hide it because you’re a “gentleman.”
Please fire me. Friday, after a sign install didn’t go well, I made this mistake of asking why the production manager was confused about another job he had to do when I had forwarded him all the information. He called me a b**** and told me to go f*** myself. Now I have a meeting to look forward to where I have to sit there and listen to him explain why he thought it was appropriate to use that kind of language and speak to me that way. Can’t wait!
Please fire me. Yesterday, my coworkers had a heated discussion about food and how they don’t understand how gluten allergies even exist because they didn’t a couple years ago. Today, my coworkers are having a heated discussion about food and how they don’t understand how gluten allergies even exist because they didn’t a couple years ago.
Please fire me. My boss calls in every day to tell me he is an hour late due to delayed train. I can check on the internet when and where trains are delayed in the entire country and his train rarely is. He calls in to tell me this at least three times a week.
Please fire me. I don’t want to see you naked. I don’t need to sext you and you don’t pay me half what you said you would. I hate your wife and feel bad for your kids. I will not do what you ask me to do, it’s not my job. Your son asked me to have sex with him! Both of you are messed up.
Please fire me. Today someone called me a “lazy bitch” because I told them I couldn’t let them view confidential records without a photo ID. They then explained that they left their photo ID at a “friend’s house.” I explained that I was sorry for the inconvenience, but that we had to have photo verification. They proceeded to throw a pen at my face before storming away from the counter.