October 2010
22 posts
5 tags
Please fire me. The three people near me are loudly arguing about college sports teams, as they have done for 30 minutes every day for the past year.
7 tags
Please fire me. My boss is so cheap that he won’t hire a plumber to fix the toilet in the women’s bathroom. To flush it I have to take off the back of the toilet, remove my jewelry, roll up my sleeve, reach my arm into the vat of toilet water and pull up the round rubber thing.
5 tags
5 tags
Please fire me. The guy next to me saved all his vacation days for the year and today put in for every Monday and Friday off from now until 2011, leaving me to pick up half of his shift on top of mine, having me work until midnight.
6 tags
Please fire me. Our boss gave us a formal “you must not fraternize with other staff members” speech. He recently knocked up a chick from Sales.
6 tags
Please fire me. Our office Christmas party will be “Disney Theme”.
4 tags
Please fire me. My co-worker reeks of cigarettes and smells so strongly of garbage/sewage (from smoking by the dumpsters) that I can smell her from my cube that is 10 feet away. The worst part is that she complains that she’s allergic to strong smells like perfume or lotion and forbids others from using “smelly” items.
6 tags
Please fire me. Today my boss used the phrase “cease and assist” in a department meeting twice.
6 tags
4 tags
Please fire me. The sign in our bathroom stall says to flush twice in a font that has hearts dotting the i’s.
7 tags
Please fire me. The illiterate are in charge. The ability to craft a basic sentence is noticeably absent from the requirements for management.
I weep for the spell check button, the loneliest button of them all.
4 tags
3 tags
Please fire me. I’m a historian being told how to create a museum exhibit by someone who majored in gym.
5 tags
Please fire me. After pleading countless times to my manager and boss, I finally got my 3% salary raise. Unfortunately, after a week, we got a 10% cut.
6 tags
Please fire me. I saw my co-worker accidentally hack mucus straight onto her desk.
6 tags
Please fire me. I can see my co-worker’s plaque from a distance.
7 tags
6 tags
Please fire me. A co-worker turned her temporary work-from-home post-maternity leave into a permanent telecommute. She lives seven miles away. I live 80.
Another co-worker left to tele-work. He mysteriously disappeared for months, only to reappear with a claim his father was in intensive care and he would have to resign. After giving too much sympathy, extra hours, and dealing with upset clients,...
4 tags
Please fire me. My co-worker always dances her way into her cubicle every morning.
3 tags
Please fire me. My boss has a mini fridge in her office that she keeps stocked with wine coolers. She continues to drink said wine coolers until she is cocky and rude. Then she tells me I “must cancel all appointments for that day”.
6 tags
4 tags
Please fire me. A fire alarm went off and our boss asked us not to leave until the building manager told us it was a real threat. Once the manager made us go outside, our boss decided not to wait for the fire department. Instead, listened to an old lady standing nearby. She advised us to go back in and once half way up, the alarm went off again—this time with the fire department asking us...