July 2010
18 posts
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Please fire me. My co-worker is voicing her obsession about how much she loves bacon and its “sweet salty goodness”. She’s listing all the wonderful things that come from pork and keeps saying “Mmmmm, piggy.”
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Please fire me. Today we received an email asking that when anybody leaves their desk, for any reason whatsoever, that we notify our supervisor.
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Please fire me. I have been with my boss for five years in and he still doesn’t know how to spell my name correctly.
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Please fire me. I have been at work for a month and still have not been through orientation.
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Please fire me. Today at work my boss actually said, ”Isn’t Solitaire a two-player game?”
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Please fire me. I have to watch my boss drop food on the floor in front of customers, and then proceed to kick it to an area where he can pick it up and serve it.
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Please fire me. I personally loaned my boss $1,500 while he was on vacation. In March. It’s now July. He hasn’t paid me back yet, but has bought his parents a cruise vacation, eats out every night, and buys his wife jewelry.
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Please fire me. I had to teach a coworker the difference between a KVM switch and an Ethernet switch. Then I had to teach him the difference between a keyboard and a monitor. He works for “workstation support”.
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Please fire me. I sit in a tiny booth in 100 degree weather with nothing but a tiny hand fan to blow around the hot air.
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Please fire me. Today my cubemate was having online cybersex. I think he had the Big O.
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Please fire me. My co-worker asked me how to spell “really,” then asked if I was sure it didn’t have a “g” in it.
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Please fire me. My boss just typed “google” into the Google search bar.
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Please fire me. I’ve worked for you for over two years but I am still making minimum wage and you still don’t know my name. At an event you asked one of us to snap pictures of a bleeding child to possibly sell it and make money off of it.
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Please fire me. I read about the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire to make me feel better about my job.
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Please fire me. My co-worker just asked if Boston and DC were in the same time zone.
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Please fire me. 16 months ago I was going to be laid off in 30 days.
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Please fire me. I work at a corporate restaurant. My general manager seems to think it’s cool to come up to the host stand, stand there and stare without saying anything for apparently no reason. Today he gave my fellow hostess and I a pamphlet on ovarian cancer and said, “Just looking out for you ladies.”
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Please fire me. My coworker just asked if Lance Armstrong and Buzz Lightyear were the first men on the moon.