August 2010
24 posts
5 tags
Please fire me. Today my boss called me from his vacation and asked me to look something up for him. He wanted to find a guy he knows that does direct mail but he couldn’t remember his name. The guy is Indian. He asked me to Google “direct mail Indian” and find him.
7 tags
Please fire me. I came into work today to find a stream of ants coming in from outside and heading straight for the owner’s dog’s food. After taking care of them, I then noticed an all out battle between the ants and little winged termites at the front of the store. They’re even in the light fixtures! And the owner just says to put out the ant bait to kill them off. I think we’ve got a bigger...
4 tags
Please fire me. In an effort to admit he was tooting his own horn my boss just called himself “boastuous”.
5 tags
Please fire me. Last week an attorney I work with told me I need to work out more. I weigh 102 pounds and I’m a female. The week before he rubbed my leg to see what “sexy shoes” I had on.
5 tags
5 tags
5 tags
Please fire me. I work with a suck up who acts as a walking video camera for the boss.
Please fire me. On my 2nd day at the job, prior to orientation or work assignments I received an outside office call on my desk phone. It was my boss. This is what she had to say. “Hello, this is your supervisor. I am calling to let you know that YOU ARE BEING WATCHED! I know what’s on your computer screen as we speak. I also know that the red light is flashing on your phone. You have a...
Please fire me. My boss is discussing with his pals in sales exactly how many Viagra he is taking with him to Vegas this weekend. He is married, and has two children. His wife will not be attending. I want to vomit every time he opens his mouth.
4 tags
Please fire me. The lady in the next cubicle is talking to her dog on the phone and asking it for kisses.
4 tags
Please fire me. The new manager did not close the credit card transactions since the last manager left. That was 15 months ago. It is two and a half rolls, enough to go around the outer perimeter of the building twice. The company just found $114,000.
4 tags
4 tags
Please fire me. My white trash, lazy overweight co-worker comes in on his days off wearing a see-through mesh tank top. Everyone can see his nipples.
Please fire me. Whenever I go outside for a smoke, the security guard from the front desk follows me out and asks to bum a smoke. Whether I give it to him or not, he proceeds to explain his Christianity to me. It’s the kind that doesn’t believe in dinosaurs.
Take This Job...Please! →
A story about the JFK flight attendant who went off on a customer with a nice mention of Please Fire Me.
Please Fire Me in Forbes Magazine →
A Forbes article about JetBlue working-class hero Steven Slater that features Please Fire Me.
Please fire me. The Prez/CEO of our not-small company just delivered a rather inane speech about productivity while standing there rubbing his crotch back and forth against the back of the chair he was standing behind. I think one of my female co-workers just went to the bathroom to vomit.
PFM Hero: Jet Blue Flight Attendant Pushed To Edge... →
Please fire me. Our company says it is going to start charging us $25 to cover its NSF fees if its payroll checks bounce when we try to cash them, unless we check to see if there are funds available before we attempt to get paid.
5 tags
Please fire me. On a staff trip my boss took us to dinner and got really drunk. He plucked his lagostina (small, lobster like critter) off his plate and ran to various tables dangling it in my co-workers faces while yelling jibberish. Then, on the trip back to the hotel (where he turned an airport shuttle into our designated driver for the evening), he sang “Buffalo Soldier” at the top of...
5 tags
Please fire me. This girl in the office started to use the handicap parking space because she got pregnant. She still uses it to this day. Her baby is 10 months old.
5 tags
Please fire me. Our HR department regularly emails announcements of parties and events, and at the bottom of the email specifically excludes my department from participating.
5 tags
Please fire me. All the cooks ask me when I’m going to wear shorts to work.
5 tags
Please fire me. My boss just returned from vacation and asked that I help troubleshoot her computer before she calls IT. She said that it’s not working and she can’t figure out what’s wrong with it. I walked back to her office and pushed the power button on her monitor.
Problem solved.