September 2010
15 posts
3 tags
Please fire me. I just had a co-worker come over to my desk to ask a question. She knocked on the side of my cubicle, placed her hand on her forehead as if straining to seem me off in the distance, and asked, “Are you home?”
4 tags
Please fire me. My girlfriend recently broke up with me to get back together with her ex-boyfriend. She works right next to me for eight hours a day.
4 tags
3 tags
Please fire me. I make hospital minimum wage. I had to move a 487 pound man with bedsores from one be to another. When my co-worker and I were lifting him, he accidentally let go, and my end slipped and my face went into his bedsore-ridden ass.
Please fire me. We haven’t had the Internet for a week.
Please fire me. The three people near me are loudly arguing about college sports teams, as they have done for 30 minutes every day for the past year.
3 tags
Please fire me. I have to jack off pure breed American Kennel Club dogs for a dog breeder.
Please fire me. A low beep has been going off for the past hour and no one can figure out how to turn it off.
4 tags
Please fire me. Today a property manager asked me three times if the lights in the warehouse worked before he actually looked up to see them all working fine.
5 tags
5 tags
Please fire me. The ongoing reorganization of our department, which began two years ago, has finally arrived in all our drive directories. All the “old” locations, the locations where we are used to looking for files, now have PDF files that say “The files you are looking for are located in” with the new directory listing.
4 tags
Please fire me. My late forty-something boss’s hem on her dress is about five inches shorter than my early thirty-something’s skirt. Not wearing pantyhose either. After a day of visiting clients in the professional world of advertising, parading her legs around, she sinks down on the pleather train seat, engrossed in her Blackberry for the inevitable crotch shot. And no, the train did not have bar...
Please fire me. For the past 12 hours I have been receiving threatening phone calls and text messages from one of my clients. Does anyone know of any Caseworker Protection Programs?
3 tags
Please fire me. The two guys in the next cube over continuously talk about the most mundane details of their lives all day long. Topics include preferred brands of toilet paper and kitchen-cleaning techniques.
Please fire me. I heard my boss use “talk to the hand” three times today.