October 2011
22 posts
6 tags
Please fire me. Yesterday I had to scan an entire book (300 pages) and email it to one of my bosses. Today, he told me that he accidentally deleted the email and needs me to do it again.
7 tags
Please fire me. A co-worker of mine repeatedly asks me for the password to one of our software programs. Every time he does, I forward him the email I sent him the very first time he asked… over a year ago.
8 tags
Please fire me. During my performance review, I was told I wouldn’t be getting a raise because I’m not peppy enough. My job entails filing paperwork.
8 tags
Please fire me. I may not get a well-deserved raise because I didn’t say good morning to my co-workers.
8 tags
Please fire me. My co-workers use the unisex bathroom to have sex.
5 tags
Please fire me. My boss makes all his calls on speaker phone and then proceeds to tell me about the entire phone call. I sit right out side his office; I can hear all his calls myself.
6 tags
Please fire me. The child I babysit put a pink vibrator on my bare arm. And her older brother likens me daily to overweight characters, such as everyone from the movie Heavyweights and Pumba.
7 tags
Please fire me. When I try to let my boss know about staff problems, he blames it on Obama.
6 tags
Please fire me. I was taking a dump in the men’s room when two of my female co-workers walked in and started whispering about their stomach stapling.
8 tags
Please fire me. I work with a woman who believes she is an actual cast member of Sex and the City. She’s a counselor and often prefaces her advice with, “On Sex and the City they say…”
9 tags
Please fire me. My boss keeps bringing her dogs in to work. They like to sit by me and show off their horrible gas problems.
8 tags
Please fire me. My boss gave me grief for taking a personal day for jury duty; she took a whole day off to get her hair cut.
11 tags
7 tags
Please fire me. I found a butt plug in the lost and found today at work.
10 tags
8 tags
Please fire me. I was yelled at for completing a task too early in my shift, which resulted in our Cold War era computer system getting confused and thinking I did it twice.
9 tags
Please fire me. My co-worker borrowed my phone to take a picture and then sext it to himself.
11 tags
Please fire me. I work in a warehouse in my boss’s basement and she refuses to get the mice exterminated. They poop on my desk and keyboard every night and store food in my printer.
8 tags
Please fire me. Today at work a lady tried returning a package of adult diapers and proceeded to start yelling at me when I refused to refund her. The package had been opened and one of the diapers looked like it had been used.
7 tags
Please fire me. Every time I have to “positively express my feelings about my job through interpretive dancing” at a staff meeting, I die a little on the inside.
7 tags
Please fire me. I start my day at 4am, crying before I get ready for work.
8 tags
Please fire me. I was just accused of being prejudice against white people. I’m white.