February 2011
18 posts
2 tags
Please fire me. I work 24 hour shifts for a private ambulance company, which only pays us for 17 of those hours. We’ll get the other seven hours of pay if we are running calls at night, as long as those calls take at least two hours. But our dispatch will purposely hold calls until there is exactly 1 hour and 59 minutes left in our shift.
1 tag
Please fire me. My boss doesn’t seem to understand that you make the same snide comments of belittling jokes more than five times it stops being a joke and starts being grounds for deep-seated hatred.
Please fire me. Our office is so cold that my officemate is copying blank paper to put in her lap, since it comes out of the copier warm.
Please fire me. I’m sick of getting asked how to spell difficult words like “such” and “right” by my moron co-worker.
2 tags
Please fire me. I work weekends and the guy who does my job during the week keeps all his porn in our shared desk. It’s not even good porn.
1 tag
Please fire me. My 60-year-old boss insists on wearing fitted turtlenecks, and whenever he is near me I can see his nipples.
3 tags
Please fire me. I got a bad performance review because my supervisor felt I’m not “grateful to work here.” This is after twice passing out due to heat exhaustion because of the extra equipment we are now forced to carry.
2 tags
Please fire me. My boss just called me into her office, in a serious tone of voice, to let me know that she thinks her puppy unplugged her headset charger. After this statement, she stared at me blankly, until I said I’d crawl under her desk after she left for the night to plug it back in.
4 tags
Please fire me. For the last five years, I have received five out of five performance reviews and have an college education.
I was told the most recent promotion was not mine because of my lack of education. The person who did receive the promotion has a high school education . When I pointed out that I graduated from college, my boss said, “I have to go,” and hung up the phone.
4 tags
Please fire me. I was working as a tour guide on a bus trip. We were about to go over a bridge. A woman asked me which side of the bridge the water would be on.
5 tags
Please fire me. My manager informed me she read my Facebook, just before handing me a write-up slip for talking smack about her on my wall. My Facebook is private. Someone on my friends’ list let her read it.
4 tags
Please fire me. The person who was just promoted a step above me has a duckfaced profile pic on Facebook and routinely wears Ed Hardy gear on Casual Fridays.
5 tags
Please fire me. My Christmas bonus was a $5 gift card to McDonald’s.
4 tags
Please fire me. Our HR director just paged overhead for a person he fired three weeks ago.
2 tags
Please fire me. The CEO of our company takes his iPad into the bathroom with him for 30 minutes at a time and then asks me if I’d like to use it in meetings.
4 tags
Please fire me. When I asked my boss how the situation in Egypt will affect us, and what we’re doing about it, she replied: “Why? What’s happening in Egypt?”
3 tags
Please fire me. My boss replies to emails without fully reading them.
For instance: One co-worker sent an email asking, “When is the product coming?”
Boss’s reply: “When is the product coming????????”
3 tags
Please fire me. I am a Sales Representative. I recently completed my year-end self assessment. Naturally, I listed the continuing education courses I enrolled this year: Multimedia Sales Presentations and Professional Sales Negotiating.
My boss commented, “You need to discuss with me if these courses are relevant to your job.”