July 2011
23 posts
7 tags
Please fire me. My co-worker asked, “Can you show me how to check e-mail?” She has been on this job more than a year.
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Please fire me. My boss recently asked for a company logo to be resized and recolored. Although my job has nothing to do with this sort of thing, he asked me because of my “computer skills.” After submitting what he asked for, he asked me to re-do it 12 separate times, with colors slightly adjusted. Exasperated, for the 13th submission, I re-submitted the first effort I had done four hours...
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Please fire me. Any time I want to store my Lean Cuisine in the refrigerator I have to fill out a sticker with my name, initials, date placed in the fridge, and date of expiration, then stick it on the box.
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Please fire me. When I asked my boss if we could “roast” my retiring co-worker, she replied, “No, I think she likes pasta better.”
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Don't be so evil: A guide for bosses | The Chicago... →
An article in The Chicago Tribune with quotes from Please Fire Me: Posts from the Revolting Workplace co-author Jill Morris.
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Please fire me. When my co-worker relieves me for break at my console, he sits and farts in my chair while i’m gone. He thinks that if he does it while I’m gone that the noxious smell will be gone when i come back. This might be true with a leather chair, as the toots tend to make a slapping or rolling motion in to the air. My chair is a cloth that soaks up the smell. It’s like a gang of fart...
9 tags
Please fire me. My boss is a vampy cougar in six-inch leopard print heels. The only person who should ever look like RuPaul is RuPaul.
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Please fire me. Roaches crawl out of the phone I use every day, and no matter how many pens I order, they are gone in a week because the employees hoard them.
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Please fire me. The ladies I work with think the silent treatment is a better option than actually communicating with me.
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Please fire me. I work in a hospital. Due to budget cuts, the body bags provided to hold the deceased have been reduced to single ply.
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Please fire me. I was hired at my job and nobody knew about it. I had to email everyone telling them that I was working there, begging for tasks to do. I work in healthcare oversight.
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Please fire me. Two little girls thought it would be funny to lock all the stalls in the bathroom at work, then run away. You’ll never guess who was on bathroom duty and had to crawl on the floor under each of the 12 stall doors and unlock them.
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Please fire me. My name is Layla, but due to the fact someone once called me Lauren I now have answer to Lauren and go along with it. I’m just like Chandler except I don’t get to live in that apartment.
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The Taxonomy Of Horrible Bosses →
A humor piece written by Jill Morris and Johnny McNulty, writers of Please Fire Me: Posts from the Revolting Workplace, is now up on The Huffington Post.
Introduction to Huffington Post piece:
As most of us have seen from the marketing campaign for Horrible Bosses, and some of us from watching the actual movie this weekend, the new comedy focuses on three types of, well, horrible bosses: The...
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Please fire me. My co-worker told me to come help clean her office space, and then my supervisor yelled at me for breaching the terms of my contract.
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Please fire me. My boss yelled at me in front of patients for pulling toilet paper off of the roll too loudly while using the restroom.
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Pleas fire me. My boss decided to put an “ Authorized Personel Only” sign on his chair today so none of his employees will sit there because he doesn’t want germs.
Please fire me. The receptionist said I have a call on line one, but the caller hung up. I asked the receptionist who called…she said “some man”.
Please fire me. Hell exists on earth. Here.
Please fire me. The other day my boss (who just recently had a boob job) asked me if her shirt showed to much cleavage “because you know I recently when up a size with my breasts.”
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Please fire me. My boss makes everyone sign out on a list when they leave their desk to go to the bathroom.
Please fire me. My boss can not stand the fact that I have a young daughter with special needs including Asperger’s syndrome… and I work for a community mental health center!