August 2011
34 posts
Please fire me. The person who decides our dress code looks like she rolled out of bed and threw on something from the hamper everyday.
Please fire me. My boss sends, who demands respect, sends all of his emails, proposals and anything typed up in Comic Sans.
8 tags
Please fire me. My boss keeps her pumped breast milk in the fridge next to my lunch. It grosses me out to think that her nipples have practically touched my salad.
5 tags
Please fire me. I’m 23. I shouldn’t have a ulcer from work stress.
6 tags
Please fire me. My manager calls me Audrey instead of Ashley. Audrey was just hired last month. I’ve been here since December
6 tags
Please fire me. I have been sitting at my desk for four hours without a break. Since when does a 34 have to ask permission to use the bathroom anyway?
8 tags
Please fire me. I work for my parents.
8 tags
Please fire me. My co-worker told my boss I was killing her. With my hand lotion.
9 tags
Please fire me. It was my birthday yesterday. When I asked if I would be getting a cake, my boss told me that he has too many people here to remember our birthdays. I work with two other people in the whole building.
9 tags
Please fire me. My boss wrote me up for missing work after being t-boned by a drunk driver and then immediately asked me to dog sit.
7 tags
Please fire me. Just because I work at a gas station doesn’t mean you can constantly hit on me and think I’m easy. And, no, buying me the chocolate bar I just dusted isn’t going to work either.
6 tags
My boss won’t speak to me during the work week. Instead she likes to call or email me on my day off and provide me with a list of things that have been done incorrectly and that I need fix before I return to work.
7 tags
Please fire me. I work at a health insurance company and had to tell some poor old lady she couldn’t get her heart medication because someone spelled her name wrong in the system.
7 tags
Please fire me. My boss picks her ears while she’s talking to me and then flicks the ear wax onto my desk.
7 tags
Please fire me. Today at work my boss chased me with a dirty feather duster trying to give me birthday spankings.
7 tags
Please fire me. My boss tells me I’m not energetic or excited enough while I’m at work. I work at a funeral home.
7 tags
Please fire me. I am not friends with my boss on Facebook, so he has his other employees who are friends on Facebook to show him my statuses. Then he gives me shit about them.
8 tags
Please fire me. I work with a guy who spends three hours in the bathroom every day. When I ask him where he’s been he completely ignores the question, then begins to talk about something else.
9 tags
Please fire me. The bigwigs are giving themselves three additional days paid vacation to thank themselves for a job well done. I’m a peon. I’ll get an ice cream and 10 minutes off to eat it.
8 tags
Please fire me. I work at a call center where people order sex toys. The other day I had a woman ask about how one particular vibrator worked, I said I didn’t know. She then asked, “Can you take it to the bathroom and try it out?” and assured me she could wait.
8 tags
Please fire me. I work at a supermarket and a 60-something man yelled at me today because he couldn’t guess his pin number.
7 tags
Meeting Boy: It’s not the job that sucks, it’s the... →
A review of Please Fire Me: Posts from the Revolting Workplace.
meetingboy:
People hate their jobs. FACT. The reason most people hate their jobs is not the work itself, or even the hours or pay— they hate it because of the other people there. As much as I hate my job, I’ve changed a few times and know that a lot of the stupid, lazy jerks I deal with will be at the next job too in some form....
7 tags
Please fire me. I’m a waiter at a restaurant owned by a married couple. They constantly threaten to leave one another and argue loudly enough to freak out my tables.
8 tags
Please fire me. When my boss corrected herself the other day, she stopped, looked at me, and announced triumphantly, “See? You aren’t the only one who makes mistakes around here!”
7 tags
Please fire me. A customer just walked in and exclaimed, “It smells so coffee-ish in here!!”
…I work at a coffee shop.
6 tags
Please fire me. I work at a library and get asked out all the time. I am 18, and the average age of the asker is at least 50.
8 tags
Please fire me. My obese co-worker keeps giving everyone diet advice.
6 tags
Please fire me. My boss makes me download the Gossip Girl soundtrack every week. He is a full-grown man and Gossip Girl is his favorite show.
6 tags
Please fire me. A woman claimed she will stop donating to our charity because she received a letter with a typo on it.
I told her, “I guess the less fortunate will understand.”
6 tags
Please fire me. I was yelled at for doing my job too well and making my co-workers look bad.
5 tags
Please fire me. I was yelled at for typing too loud.
5 tags
Please fire me. $3.33 an hour is not enough to watch your demon-spawn daughter for 12 hours a day.
5 tags
Please fire me. Stop paying me to sit at a desk and do absolutely nothing. I am underutilized, uninspired, and my brain is now mush.
5 tags
Please fire me. A customer threatened me at work the other day because he didn’t think he got his cheeseburger fast enough, even though we are not a “fast food” establishment and it took us under five minutes to get him the burger. He was making a scene so as I politely handed him the bag I said “I’m so sorry for your wait, sir.” He snatched the bag from me, kicked open our glass door and—as he...