Please fire me. The admin assistant talks about getting tattoos (but never gets them) and every three months she does her hair however Pink does it. She’s almost 40 years old and has such intellectual quotes as: “I’m so baaaaad!”, “O no u DI’INT!” and “I ain’t scurrrd.”

Plus, her crazy insecure husband works here. He told everyone at the office he was going to kick my ass for sleeping with his wife (which I didn’t, most notably for the reasons listed above and because I’m not a huge fan of getting stabbed).