Please fire me. I have a co-worker who has been employed by the company I work for, for over 30 years. As the years go by so do her productive job obligations. Due to her lack of meaningful work assignments, she takes it upon herself to complete the most mindnumbing, irritating, and wasteful tasks ever!

Not only does she laminate every last side of the adding machine tape she adheres to her reports, but she also has a half broken stapler that she proceeds to pound with her fist EVERYDAY. In fact, both the taping and the stapler pounding happen at the same time every day, down to the minute—I am not exaggerating.

I’ve only been with the company six years and I do more than her in one hour then she does all day. May I also add that she still isn’t comfortable answering the phone after thirty “short” years of working for the same employer? She’s given me such a complex that I cannot even tape my own personal items without cringing to the sound of, rip, rip, rip.