Please fire me.  My co-worker insists on telling me EVERY TIME she is about to have a bowel movement. It starts with a, “Oooh, I have to poop.”  Then a few minutes later, “Yeah, I really think I have to poop.” Then a few minutes after that, “Yep, I’m pretty sure I have to poop.” The whole while, she groans very loudly and holds her stomach, and ensures that I respond to her theatrics. After said bowel movement, she returns and explains in detail how her poop went.