Please fire me. When my co-worker relieves me for break at my console, he sits and farts in my chair while i’m gone. He thinks that if he does it while I’m gone that the noxious smell will be gone when i come back. This might be true with a leather chair, as the toots tend to make a slapping or rolling motion in to the air. My chair is a cloth that soaks up the smell. It’s like a gang of fart maggots dig in and never leave. The chair is always hot when I come back and wreaks like  bandaids and rotten milk. I mentioned it to him once and he shot back ” Well, excuuuuuuuuse me, Mr. Perfect.”