Please fire me. I was yelled at for completing a task too early in my shift, which resulted in our Cold War era computer system getting confused and thinking I did it twice.

Please fire me. My office manager sent an email out today that simply said: “If you have more than three pens at your desk please return them to the office supply cabinet.”

Please fire me. I got an email from the boss this morning asking what b/c meant.

Please fire me. My boss does not know how to send an attachment on an email.

Please fire me. My boss had me check numbers on a sixteen page excel printout. By hand. With a pencil. She claims that human error is less than a =SUM function.

Please fire me. Programmers at work are thinking they’re art directors now.

Please fire me. I just taught my boss how to cut and paste again. Feels like the 400th time.

Please fire me. My co-workers have started playing something called MineCraft; they have even built their own server for it. They talk about it like IT’S REAL LIFE, like they are really building houses and accomplishing something. These are all GROWN MEN.

Please fire me. My co-worker just showed me the swingers’ website Ashley Madison. This is the third time.