Please fire me. I get paid less than the 16-year-olds I train.
Please fire me. During my performance review, I was told I wouldn’t be getting a raise because I’m not peppy enough. My job entails filing paperwork.
Please fire me. I may not get a well-deserved raise because I didn’t say good morning to my co-workers.
Please fire me. When I try to let my boss know about staff problems, he blames it on Obama.
Please fire me. I work in a warehouse in my boss’s basement and she refuses to get the mice exterminated. They poop on my desk and keyboard every night and store food in my printer.
Please fire me. I deliver pizza. Tonight, I rang a customer’s doorbell only to find an old man wearing a t-shirt, but no pants, sitting Indian-style on the floor. He was beyond intoxicated but still conscious enough to make sure to get all his change. I had to see old-man junk and received a tip of zero dollars.
Please fire me. I’m wearing the exact same K-Mart outfit as my boss.
Please fire me. A customer came in, said she received a coupon for her birthday, and asked if she had to buy something to get the 15% discount off her purchase.
Please fire me. I work 24 hour shifts for a private ambulance company, which only pays us for 17 of those hours. We’ll get the other seven hours of pay if we are running calls at night, as long as those calls take at least two hours. But our dispatch will purposely hold calls until there is exactly 1 hour and 59 minutes left in our shift.