Please fire me. I am forced to sit on the floor and work during shift overlaps; they rarely vacuum. 

Please fire me. When I try to let my boss know about staff problems, he blames it on Obama.

Please fire me. I was taking a dump in the men’s room when two of my female co-workers walked in and started whispering about their stomach stapling. 

Please fire me. My boss keeps bringing her dogs in to work. They like to sit by me and show off their horrible gas problems.

Please fire me. My boss gave me grief for taking a personal day for jury duty; she took a whole day off to get her hair cut.

Please fire me. Today at work a lady tried returning a package of adult diapers and proceeded to start yelling at me when I refused to refund her. The package had been opened and one of the diapers looked like it had been used.

Please fire me. Every time I have to “positively express my feelings about my job through interpretive dancing” at a staff meeting, I die a little on the inside.

Please fire me. I start my day at 4am, crying before I get ready for work.

Please fire me. My boss slams doors when they aren’t shut all the way, then looks at us.