Please fire me. I saw my co-worker trying to act casually in his car while he got a blow job from a girl we work with, which was parked across from our building.
Please fire me. I was asked to stop a canned food drive for a battered women and children shelter because it was tacky.
Please fire me. My co-workers use the unisex bathroom to have sex.
Please fire me. I work with a woman who believes she is an actual cast member of Sex and the City. She’s a counselor and often prefaces her advice with, “On Sex and the City they say…”
Please fire me. My co-worker borrowed my phone to take a picture and then sext it to himself.
Please fire me. I work in a warehouse in my boss’s basement and she refuses to get the mice exterminated. They poop on my desk and keyboard every night and store food in my printer.
Please fire me. An old man stabbed me with a fork when I tried to take his wife’s dirty dish. It was an empty plate. He said, “You need to make sure she is finished.”
Please fire me. When my 60-year-old boss talks to me I can see his eyes going straight from my face to my chest.
Please fire me. Today at work my boss chased me with a dirty feather duster trying to give me birthday spankings.
Please fire me. I work for a police department that lets DUIs off the hook.