Please fire me. I had surgery today and my boss asked if I will be coming in tomorrow.
Please fire me. I get in trouble for my “lack of efficiency” but I’m working on an computer that still has a floppy disk drive and runs on Microsoft Windows 2000! It’s 14 years old… Oh, and I get constant alerts of shutting down due to a thermal event. It heats up so bad it sounds like it’s gonna take off.
Please fire me. I wrote up a student for threatening to bring a gun to school to shoot me, but the administrators said I was overreacting.
Please fire me. My coworker refused to stay a half hour late so I could visit my mom in the hospital because she had ”better things to do.” She had to go call her cat.
Please fire me. I was in a meeting with my boss and we had to look for an address. I went to Google Maps and showed him the actual location via street view. Then I sat in his office for two hours whilst we viewed all the places he’s been to, including his relatives homes. Before I left work, he came to my desk and said “I still just can’t believe it, let’s see it on your computer.”
Please fire me. An old redneck man came into the store and wanted to give me $100 to cut off my ponytail and give it to him because it would look good in his rear view mirror in his truck. Then he told me that with my new found wealth I can quit my job and live free like a bird. God, I hate being cashier.
Please fire me. Just because I work at a gas station doesn’t mean you can constantly hit on me and think I’m easy. And, NO, buying me the chocolate bar I just dusted isn’t going to work either.
Please fire me. My boss, who demands respect, sends all of his emails, proposals and anything typed up in Comic Sans.
Please fire me. My coworker told my boss I was killing her…with my hand lotion.
Please fire me. My boss yelled at me because I did more work than was expected of me.