Please fire me. My boss keeps making jokes about how “whipped” I am for my wife. But he’s the one that is actually being whipped.
Please fire me. I caught my boss watching Hentai at work, and I see the way he looks at me.
Please fire me. My boss gave me grief for taking a personal day for jury duty. She took a whole day off to get a haircut.
Please fire me. A customer at my coffee shop came to the counter, insisting that I change our playlist. Because we were making him listen to ‘death music.’
It was Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy.”
Please fire me. My boss keeps her pumped breast milk in the fridge next to my lunch. It grosses me out to think that her nipples have practically touched my salad.
Please fire me.
Them: “Hi. I fucked up. Please fix it.”
Me: “Well, I can’t fix it, but I can tell you how you can fix it.”
Them: “Fuck you!”
Please fire me. My boss yelled at me when I refused to sell customers food that was six hours past the throw out time. Two hours later, my boss yelled at me again for not tossing the old food.
Please fire me. My boss just sent me an email. Thirty seconds later he sent me an instant message, letting me know he was about to call me regarding the email.
Please fire me. I install bespoke sound systems for rich people and yet I am told there is no budget to feed me lunch during my 12 hour work day. The clients all turn up in helicopters.
Please fire me. We had a safety meeting about never using power tools in the rain. The next day, as it rained, we were told to continue working using impact guns, power drills, and a couple of circular saws. When I complained about this, my boss told me that it wasn’t raining hard enough and when it starts pouring rain that they might reconsider.