Please fire me. There’s a lady on the “safety team” constantly nagging me about things that have nothing to do with safety. One day I decided to charge my cellphone in a wall outlet in the break room and she unplugged it and hid it in a filing cabinet. Later, when I was freaking out over the thought that someone had stolen my cellphone she unveiled it to me and explained that I couldn’t hog up a “company outlet.”
Please fire me. In the middle of entering data in 5 different excel sheets for higher level administration, my boss comes around the desk and hands me more work to do. All the while, my co-worker sits right next to me happily bopping her head to the music in her headphones (a no-no according to my boss), doing her homework.
Please fire me. I work with a guy who apparently refuses to wear deodorant. After lifting a few boxes he reeks of week-old garbage, and onions.
Please fire me. My boss expects me to understand complicated construction terms without any training. I think he expects a mind-reader and robot to work for him.
Please fire me. I sat in a male coworkers car the other day and now everyone keeps asking if we are “hooking up”.
Please fire me. My boss has gone on holiday so he’s put in charge his son who fools around with his girlfriend in the back of the restaurant while I have to keep things running smooth outside.
Please fire me. I just sent my boss an email that says, “Please see attached. ‘John’ has approved.”
My boss replies to my email, “I’m not going to look at this until ‘John’ approves.”
Please fire me. The couple I babysit 12 hours a day for told me they’re cutting my pay to $150 a week and that I will be expected to start doing housekeeping “since [I’m] here all day anyway.”
Please fire me. My boss called me into his office to yell at me about being out of town on my days off. I am not an on-call employee.
Please fire me. I work at a bakery and today an old man brought in a zip lock bag with his tooth in it complaining that he chipped it while eating one of our soft rolls.