Please fire me. I was asked to stop a canned food drive for a battered women and children shelter because it was tacky.
Please fire me. My company spends tons of money on elaborate balloon bouquets for every single major and minor holiday on the calendar. We haven’t had a paid holiday in over three years!
Please fire me. They changed my job description and now I’m so bored that my boss gives me “little projects” to pass the time, such as sorting through used bedsheets in our overstuffed storage facility.
Please fire me. I planned a once in a lifetime trip to New Zealand to treat myself after my mom died. My boss pulled me into her office and said “You can’t afford that.”
Please fire me. The other workers at the library have punk rock shows after closing. It’s the only time the library has more people than should be allowed in the building by the fire code.
Please fire me. My boss just explained, in exhaustive detail, what a three-ring clear-cover binder is.
Please fire me. My company bought every employee a Christmas tree and made us take them home. Which would have been cool, if it wasn’t 40 days before Christmas. Thanks for the fire hazard.
Please fire me. Today when I walked into the building I immediately smell the gut-wrenching stench of dirty, sweaty, gym socks. There is no gym in this building.
Please fire me. My former manager fired our long time and much loved security guard because he was more popular than her! She was promoted.