The PFM Book

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Please fire me. My manager sent me halfway across the building to get his drink he left sitting there.

Please fire me. My boss accidentally forwarded me an email talking about how much I annoy her, then made up an elaborate lie trying to say she was talking about someone else. I played along, because what else could I do?

Please fire me. I have been sitting at my desk for 4 hours without a break.  Since when does a 34 year old have to ask permission to use the bathroom anyway?

Please fire me. My co-worker just sprayed pepper spray in the office to “test it out.”

Please fire me. I work with two old women who continue to touch me inappropriately even though they are fully aware I am homosexual.

Please fire me. The VP of my company was hungry so he went into the fridge and started to eat someone’s pizza which they brought for lunch. Then he announces very loudly, “Please tell me who’s pizza I’m eating!”

Please fire me. My coworker has gone to rehab for heroin and is back at it again. Thus, leaving me with twice the work to do everyday while she drools and snores at her desk.

Please fire me. A woman came in looking for an item she put on hold earlier today. She “joked” with me that if I couldn’t find it she would come back with a gun. I never did find her hold.

Please fire me. My boss gave me a “warning” because I drank a cup of coffee with the last packet of sugar in it. How hard is it to open another box of sugar packets?

Please fire me. Two guys came up to my register. Guy #1 looks at me and demands I print a gift receipt. I do so after the transaction is complete, hand him his change, and he says, “Is this the gift receipt?” I say yes and he responds with, ”Good girl.”