Please fire me. We might be going on strike in this economy.
Please fire me. I worked in an ice cream shop where a woman once got vanilla frozen yogurt for her 2 year old (despite our protests that the ice cream is much more popular with kids). After the kid tried to eat the yogurt with her hands, her mother asked if she could ‘return it’ because her daughter didn’t like it.
Please fire me. My boss turned all the lights in the office off because she had a headache. When I told her I needed them on so I could read she replied, “that sounds like a personal problem.”
Please fire me. There’s a male coworker who sexually harasses the female employees. I stood up to him and told him to stop. And in retaliation, he reported to our boss about “my messy work,” and now I don’t get enough hours to make rent.
Please fire me. I got a counseling at work because a secret shopper said that the only thing I did wrong was that my smile “wasn’t sincere enough.” I asked what WAS sincere enough, and I was told “just smile bigger and stop making excuses.”
Please fire me. At my performance review, my boss marked me zero on creativity. I did not know that a data-entry admin personnel needs creativity.
Please fire me. I think I accidentally joined a cult. My boss is very attached to his employees, referring to us as “his family,” and throwing parties for every holiday, birthday, and special event he can think of. Worst of all, I’m the only one who finds this excessive; and when I’ve opted out of a party to instead spend the holiday with the people who raised me, my coworkers have asked me what I have against “the family,” and spoken with the boss about if I “truly belong.”
Please fire me. I’m sick of defending myself when I have to walk home in that stupid maid cafe outfit, and being accused of “asking for it” when I do.
Please fire me. My boss denied me my yearly bonus on the grounds that I’m not “sociable” enough.