The PFM Book

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Please fire me. When a staff member who was brought up Buddhist was fired another co-worker asked ‘who am I going to make fun of now?’

Please fire me. My supervisor always says “We are just going to have to differ to differ.”

Please fire me. My coworker tells me stories of living in East Deliverance and how her cousin was “pregnant and didn’t know it.” 

Please fire me. I work in a call center and people yell at me because the television in their second guest room doesn’t work.

Please fire me. I work with women in their 30s that act like they’re freshmen in high school and “aren’t trying to start drama” when they talk shit about everyone in the salon.

Please fire me. My boss told me I need to be more enthusiastic and passionate about my job. I work part time at a greeting card store. 

Please fire me. I’m the only one at my work that doesn’t smoke or take 5000 smokes breaks. But I get in trouble for taking a 15 minute break, as the law permits.

Please fire me. I work at the security desk/office of the college dorm I live at and for the past HOUR, a high-pitched scream-like alarm has been blaring through the alarm security panel directly behind my head at my desk. Of course nobody could figure out why it wouldn’t stop so they just left me to sit in there. 

Please fire me. My coworkers and supervisors have accused me of being passive aggressive as if I am deliberately doing/not doing certain things just to piss them off. I’m doing my duties and then some. I look for ways to improve the business sales and then I am accused of attacking them when I try to explain myself and why I think my idea might be better. They are all against me and trying to make my life miserable now while being fake on the surface as if nothing is happening.

Now they are being passive aggressive towards me and I was left with barely any change in my cash drawer today. I have no way of going to get change as I cannot leave the store. Thank you for your childish behavior. My coworker said she ‘forgot’ to get change. More like conveniently. One quarter and 5 pennies left. Either you are an idiot or you are playing games. But I won’t stoop to your levels and play your game. Give me your best shot and see if I break. You’ll have to fire me before I quit.

Please fire me. I started out at $7.25 an hour 10 months ago and am still the only one working there that is paid $7.25 an hour.